Speed dating questions to ask a guy
Fear that she might do something to screw up your relationship with him.
Fear that she might take advantage of him (and you want to protect him from that.) While these are all legitimate fears, remember that they are your fears and therefore your responsibility in terms of handling them.
I’m not looking for that and when that starts coming up, I scale my presence in her life back considerably – I don’t want things to turn into a relationship and therefore I withdraw. I’ve pushed her away and now I’m going to lose her. my goal being that I’d like to return to “stasis” – that perfect sweet spot of comfortable company and sexual satisfaction without having to tie myself down to any relationship.
Then, inevitably, the girl starts to get upset, frustrated, confused, etc. My point here: My goal is to maintain the stage before exclusivity and relationship happens. I’m clear on this and it’s practical for where I am in my life right now.
But I can tell you, every time that someone has pressured me by telling me their opinion of someone more than once, I started to resent them for making the complaint. Because when they tell me more than once that they don’t agree with my relationship with a person, they’re disrespecting me.
They’re disrespecting my ability to make a decision based on my evidence and what I see in front of me.
How long are you willing to wait before you cut bait and move on?
My boyfriend is still in close contact with his most recent ex in a way which is troubling me.
His other friends and parents agree with me, but I can’t get him see it from any other point of view.
You need to have a clear idea of what you consider a relationship to be. Some guys need time and there’s nothing wrong with giving a guy time.
Attempting to mold a man/relationship into being the relationship you want is a losing battle – progress is an illusion if you want something that he ultimately does not. Give him space to step up and be that man without manipulating, prodding, hinting, guilting or nagging him to be that man. No good relationship was ever built on the grounds of manipulation. But ultimately you won’t get the relationship you want unless you’re willing to pull the plug on a relationship that isn’t what you want.
He says it is easier to remain friends with her than not to, but I personally won’t surround myself with people who are so toxic.
He lent her a sum of money in the past which I think she still hasn’t paid back which could be a factor.