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Strangely, this is one area in which I think men “get it” more. Which is why we’d rather watch football with only the guys, while you’d like us to come shoe shopping with you. And what things can you NOT get from anyone BUT your boyfriend? And with all the art and culture out in the world, I don’t need my spouse to be a creator as much as an appreciator. It’s fun to feel like the witty, urbane couple that can break bread with the prime minister if need be.
Point is, it’s a failing proposition to expect one man to be all things to you. I’ve wrestled with that myself, because, like you, I get a rise out of ambition, philosophy, and creativity. But I can talk to my business coach about my business, I can talk to my best guy friend about philosophy, and I can experience my own creativity and others’ creativity in 1000 other forms. Just know that apart from the spark you feel around a sophisticate, it doesn’t have much inherent value.
But now that I have someone with whom I’m super-compatible, my mind succumbs to the temptation – what if there’s someone else?
And it would be easy to tell you to dump your guy and seek one of these guys out.
The thing is that most good qualities often come with bad qualities as well. The sophisticated guy may be a know-it-all and a snob. But she wouldn’t have the number one quality that my girlfriend has: she accepts me as I am, and loves me unconditionally. Which is why I’m keeping her and never letting her go.
He is VERY persistent and continues to take me back into his life if I let him.
We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off (from ten years ago to now) and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally.